NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND.........

A woman was in a coma & she had been in it for months.

Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and

noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched

her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy

as this sounds, maybe a little 'oral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.'

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.

The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor

flat lined- no pulse, no heart rate.

The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened ?' they cried.

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The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'

Old Flames

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this
morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we
used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested
in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'old magic'.

'Wow!' I was flabbergasted.


'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now', I
said, 'I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw me.

Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have.'

She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to the
challenge'.

'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a
waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle
and developing jowls like a Great Dane!'

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.

She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute,
and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

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Anyway, she giggled and said, 'I've put on a few pounds
myself!'


So I told her to fuck off.