Various politically incorrect jokes

Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!"

She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!"

He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"




I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.

Isn't it just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, an Englishman a Limey or a Frenchman a Cvnt?

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I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone.

I said, "Morning."

He replied, "No, just having a shit."





Went to my first Muslim birthday party last week.

The "musical chairs" was a bit slow but, fuck me, the "pass the parcel" was quick!!!





When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.

Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.





I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up, Abdul? Won't it fuckin' start?"





My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."
So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, flipped her over, and came all over her face and hair.

I guess we don't watch the same movies.

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A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"

The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.

"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch."