Have you ever read a joke which made you roll around on the floor laughing so much you almost puked? Of course, like any good friend you instantly want to share the joke with your friends... But wait, you lost it. No need to worry, this blog is dedicated to Email humour. I have several twisted friends who send me jokes daily. The good ones will be posted here. Feel free to add your own in the comments section


PIRATE JOKES for Talk Like a Pirate Day

Argh Matey, be forwarded that ye be entering thee territory of bad jokes and cheesy puns.

Here ya Go, a bounty load of PIRATE JOKES


Who was the pirate's favorite basketball player?

Kareem Abdul JabAARRRGGGHHH!!!


and we continue with MORE PIRATE JOKES for International Talk Like A Pirate Day

What does a surfer pirate say?



What is a pirate's favorite way to fly?

A helicoptAAARRR!!


What takes a pirate 30 minutes but only lasts for 2?

An ARRRRgasm!


Where do pirates go to have fun?



Why did the pirate break his teeth?

His food was too hAAAAARRRD!

OK, enough ARRG related Pirate jokes already!!!!!--------------------------

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers!


Why did the pirate make everyone stand at the back of the ship?

Because he was being very stern!


3.14159265 % of Sailors are Pi Rates.


Why do young pirates always fail when saying the alphabet in kindergarten?

Because their fathers insist that there are seven Cs!!!!


Why did the pirate cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop!!!!!!!


What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!


What happened when Redbeard the Pirate fell into the Blue Sea?

He got Marooned!


How to Pirates pick up women?

They put on some anti-pers-pirate!!!

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!


A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."


Sorry, one last Arrggh Pirate joke

What did the 86 year old Pirate get for his birthday?


Like a true pirate, I pillaged these jokes from dem dar Internet

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