The world is searching for them, beware some are fairly rude.
Late Night TV Obama Jokes
“I don’t know if you have seen this. It’s everywhere. They have a controversial photo of Barack Obama wearing a turban. It’s been circulating on the Internet. Yeah, the turban photo should help Obama with a key group of voters, the New York taxi drivers.” –Conan O’Brien
“According to a new report by a genealogy company, Barack Obama’s great-great-great-grandfather was born in Ireland. Yeah, that should really solidify Obama’s support among Irish African-Americans raised in Hawaii.” –Conan O’Brien
“Vice President Dick Cheney’s wife, Lynne Cheney, said that Barack Obama and Dick Cheney are related. She said they are actually eighth cousins. … Lynne Cheney says that Obama and Dick Cheney’s connection was the result of one of Obama’s ancestors marrying one of Cheney’s ancestors in 1650. Even more interesting, you know who introduced them
in 1650? Bob Dole.” –Jay Leno
“Did you all see Barack Obama and Hillary last night at that debate? Did you see them sitting side by side, staring at the camera? They looked like one of those bad local eyewitness news teams. ‘Let’s go to Barack for the weather. Thank you, Hillary.’” –Jay Leno
A few Racist Obama Jokes
Did you all hear that the statue of liberty is coming down! Aunt Jemima? Is going up and she’ll be holding a fried chicken leg in her hand.
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Q. Why did it take so long for a Black person to Run for the US Presidency?
A. Because they couldn't find their way out of the rain forest until it was Chopped down.
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Q. Why was Obama so pissed about the camera's following him and his daughter on Halloween??
A. Because he was trying to teach his daughter the family business of stealing bikes from the Whiteys.
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Q. Why did it take so long for Obama to run for the US Presidency?
A. Because he kept tripping over his ears while trying to run through the cotton field.
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Q. Why did it take so long for Obama to run for the US Presidency?
A. Because the US War on drugs cut down his ability to earn enough money to buy votes.
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Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. The ink isn't dry yet.
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Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He accidently smoked it.
More racist Obama Jokes
Like any experienced Chicago politician, Obama would go the cemetary to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested they just move on to the next plot. Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has a much right to vote as anyone else here!"
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Bill Clinton said, “I didn’t inhale.”
Barack Obama says, “I didn’t inject.”
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Richard Nixon said “I am not a crook!”
Barack Obama says “I am not on crack!”
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Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Anagrams
President Barack Obama = Arab base, pink Democrat
President Barack Hussein Obama = A Democrat speaks inane rubbish
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Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.
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The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.
After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota . There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.
At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish. Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another ‘bad hair’ day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.
At the end of the 2nd day John McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.
That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, ‘Obama, I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don’t even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.’ The next night (after John McCain returns with 50 fish), Harry Reid said to Obama, ‘Well, tell me, how is he cheating?’
Obama replied, ‘Harry, you’re not going to believe this, but he’s cutting holes in the ice!’
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Yet another drug related Obama Joke
Washington is on the 1 dollar bill
Franklin is on the 100 dollar bill
If Obama wins, what will he be on?
Coke
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Q. Why was Obama so pissed about the camera's following him and his daughter on Halloween??
A. Because all the camera's were scaring away his customers
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Q. Why did Obama finally decide to run for Presidency?
A. Because he wasn't making enough money to support his crack habit by mugging people in back alley's.
i freaking love all of these. :D
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